First sex with a man - 1981
1981
“I
came out in 1985 but there was a two to three year period before that
when I began to recognise my homosexuality. I realised that something
was wrong. I had no prejudice against homosexuals, but it’s a big step
to accept that you might be one of them. I had my first sexual
experience with a guy who I’d been friends with for a couple of years.
In spite of just being mates, we’d do bizarre things like going to the
Lickey Hills and sitting in his car or on a bench and having a cuddle.
You don’t cuddle your mate. So much denial! Then I moved to Bournville
and an opportunity arose for him to stay overnight. We ended up having
sex. Afterwards I burst into tears, out of relief and acceptance. This
was what I was. From that day I realised I didn’t want to be closeted.
My friend was still denying that he was gay or bisexual, so that was
the death knell for that relationship, once I wanted to be open about
it. People always saw us together, so if I came out they would put two
and two together. The affair lasted about eighteen months and ended in
about 1982 because I was moving on. I am gay. At that point I was using
that word to tell people, when I felt comfortable with them. So I
thought we could never be in a stable relationship given the
circumstances. So we broke up. Later he got engaged, though he didn’t
marry”.
Contributed by: Trevor Sword, 50