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Coming out to myself and friends


Coming Out – initial awareness

Becky was living in Worcester, when she came out in 2002, aged 23. “I kind of had lots of thoughts about that sort of thing way before then. I decided I knew when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I always said to myself that I was bisexual but in a way that was a way of not making the whole gay thing too strong. It was a way of saying that I was gay in a bit a way without saying the whole thing sort of to soften the blow without going the whole way, a half-way house kind of thing. I kind of suppressed it and it wasn’t until I was 23 that I said ‘Enough is enough, I can’t do it anymore, no, I’m sorry.’

to friends and herself

“I went to a gay night at a local club in Worcester that was on a Tuesday on a weird day of the month. I ended up kind of screaming and running home. It was all very dramatic. I was going along and I was kind of questioning. I was walking home with a couple of gay guys I’d met in the club and they said ’Why are you going to a gay night ‘cos you’re obviously not gay? You left your boyfriend at home’. At first I was defensive, and I was saying, ‘Yeah I am, don’t talk to me like that, I am’ and it was sinking into my head what I was saying. I was thinking to myself, ‘Bloody hell, I am’. I was like ‘Actually yeah, I am. Oh my God, I am, I really am. Wow!’. It was this big realisation like an explosion in my head. I was running home and I was crying, really emotional. Everything just made sense. My head just felt like it completely exploded. Before I ran home I went to my friend this gay guy’s house I was shouting up in the street trying to throw stones at his window going ‘Wake up, wake up I’m gay! I’m gay! He shouted out of the windows ‘Piss off, shut up, you’re going to wake up all the neighbours. Go home and tell your boyfriend.’ I was in tears when I got home. Complete relief, total release, really weird.

"I had to to my parents. I came out to my parents about a week later. That was in 2002."

Contributed by: Becky Tebbett, 27

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