Planning a baby by egg sharing - 2008
2007
Abba and Meridy subsequently moved to Dudley and have now decided to
start a family. They have been attending the Priory Hospital in
Birmingham, where IVF advice and treatment can be bought. Their
preferred method of treatment is that of egg sharing, so they can give
something back to someone else, as their sperm donor will be giving to
them. Meridy would have Abba’s egg implanted into her, so they would
both have be considered the mother of the child. However they have met
with difficulties at The Priory because the male consultant and rest of
the IVF team which decides whether to let people go ahead with
treatment, found it difficult to accept Abba and Meridy as a married
couple. If they were sisters it would have been cheaper for Abba to
donate her egg to Meridy. Although the team is willing to carry out the
shared egg treatment, they will only do so if the couple agree to
accept the Priory status of their partnership as ‘friends’ and
therefore pay more money for the treatment. They have decided to try
another clinic and saving up for the cost of the treatment which can
vary between £2,500 and £3,500. It’s not the normal process, they want
to be able to say they are both the mother, one would be the biological mother and
one would be the birth mother, so no-one can say that that’s not their
child. They don’t want to be seen as a step-parent; they have friends
in Worcester who have a little boy, and he doesn’t see any difference
between the parents. Abba said “I’ve never known any problems with
kids, it’s with the parents.” They definitely want to go ahead with
parenting plans and hope that this will happen in 2008. They are still
deciding who would carry the child, as pregnancy might make Meridy’s
fibro-myalgia symptoms worse, so they think that Abba will carry the
child and that Meridy will get ‘paternity leave’ or give up work to
look after the child full time. Abba who is a chef, says at her work
they are still struggling with the idea that she would go back to work.
“It’s the same as a woman who leaves the baby at home with its father.
I will take maternity leave until I need it and then go back to work
knowing the baby is in safe hands.” Meridy hopes to start a website
design business so that eventually she can work from home while caring
for the baby. “We were both latch key kids and hated and resented it,
so we want one of them to be at home looking after the kids, or there
is no point having them.”
Contributed by: Meridy Swann-Flint, 31