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Planning a baby by egg sharing - 2008


Abba and Meridy subsequently moved to Dudley and have now decided to start a family. They have been attending the Priory Hospital in Birmingham, where advice and treatment can be bought. Their preferred method of treatment is that of , so they can give something back to someone else, as their sperm donor will be giving to them. Meridy would have Abba’s egg implanted into her, so they would both have be considered the mother of the child. However they have met with difficulties at The Priory because the male consultant and rest of the IVF team which decides whether to let people go ahead with treatment, found it difficult to accept Abba and Meridy as a married couple. If they were sisters it would have been cheaper for Abba to donate her egg to Meridy. Although the team is willing to carry out the shared egg treatment, they will only do so if the couple agree to accept the Priory status of their partnership as ‘friends’ and therefore pay more money for the treatment. They have decided to try another clinic and saving up for the cost of the treatment which can vary between £2,500 and £3,500. It’s not the normal process, they want to be able to say they are both the mother, one would be the and one would be the , so no-one can say that that’s not their child. They don’t want to be seen as a step-parent; they have friends in Worcester who have a little boy, and he doesn’t see any difference between the parents. Abba said “I’ve never known any problems with kids, it’s with the parents.” They definitely want to go ahead with parenting plans and hope that this will happen in 2008. They are still deciding who would carry the child, as pregnancy might make Meridy’s fibro-myalgia symptoms worse, so they think that Abba will carry the child and that Meridy will get ‘paternity leave’ or give up work to look after the child full time. Abba who is a chef, says at her work they are still struggling with the idea that she would go back to work. “It’s the same as a woman who leaves the baby at home with its father. I will take maternity leave until I need it and then go back to work knowing the baby is in safe hands.” Meridy hopes to start a website design business so that eventually she can work from home while caring for the baby. “We were both latch key kids and hated and resented it, so we want one of them to be at home looking after the kids, or there is no point having them.”

Contributed by: Meridy Swann-Flint, 31

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