Non-monogamy
1980
The other great divider (between feminists) was the monogamy
versus non-monogamy debate, which Bridget said “That was a cop out for people
that wanted to whizz round as many parties as they wanted to. There was a period
when everyone thought it was awfully retro and repressive to be monogamous, you
had to move ahead and have someone every night of the week. Barbara said that
wasn’t so widespread, “Most of the dykes I hung around with were serial
monogamists, moving from one relationship to the next to the next”. Bridget said
that when Barbara had been with her partner “You were in this ‘who was going to
be the primary relationship?’, but that wasn’t of her choosing, there were other
issues. It was more talk than action. Monogamy was seen as a heterosexual
construct, but also an excuse for people who wanted to have multiple
relationships to go on and do so, but look like they were being right on instead
of right off! Or indeed a cop out for people who weren’t capable of sustaining a
relationship”.
Contributed by: Barbara Carter, 53, Bridget Malin, 62