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Non-monogamy

1980


The other great divider (between feminists) was the monogamy versus non-monogamy debate, which Bridget said “That was a cop out for people that wanted to whizz round as many parties as they wanted to. There was a period when everyone thought it was awfully retro and repressive to be monogamous, you had to move ahead and have someone every night of the week. Barbara said that wasn’t so widespread, “Most of the dykes I hung around with were serial monogamists, moving from one relationship to the next to the next”. Bridget said that when Barbara had been with her partner “You were in this ‘who was going to be the primary relationship?’, but that wasn’t of her choosing, there were other issues. It was more talk than action. Monogamy was seen as a heterosexual construct, but also an excuse for people who wanted to have multiple relationships to go on and do so, but look like they were being right on instead of right off! Or indeed a cop out for people who weren’t capable of sustaining a relationship”. 

Contributed by: Barbara Carter, 53, Bridget Malin, 62

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